Here is a list of a few things I think are necessary to discuss before choosing your life partner. The main crux is to get both individuals on the same page so that their relationship begins on a strong foundation of trust and understanding. The better we understand our partners, the better chances we have to keep them happy. Relationships become complicated because partners often ignore to discuss small problems that cumulate with time and result in unhappy life or separations. So isn’t it better to understand and learn about an individual before you choose to spend your life with them?

Key Discussion Points-

1. Life goals
   1. Career/Education Goals
   2. Financial Goals
   3. Spiritual Goals
   4. Physical Goals
2. Kids
   1. yes/no?
   2. if yes? when? and how do you wish to raise kids?
3. Family Ideas
   1. What would one prefer living in- Nuclear or Joint Family?
   2. How do one plan about taking care of parents/elderly?
   3. Have one lived independently before(hostel/flat/PG/etc)?
4. Unexpected tragedies
   1. What about blood donations?
   2. What about organ donations?
   3. How to handle things when if one dies gets seriously ill/injured?
5. Finance discussion with life partner
   1. How does one handles the finances?
   2. Thoughts on financial knowledge?
   3. Thoughts on savings and expenses?
   4. Thoughts on mutual/individual accounts?
   5. Thoughts on helping parents/dependents financially?
6. Expectations from Relationship
   1. Is one ready for a marriage?
   2. What does one expect from an ideal partner?
   3. Why do one think a marriage is necessary?
   4. How do one plan to share responsibilities after marriage?
   5. What one plans for the marriage function to be like?
   6. Thoughts on Trust, Understanding, Cheating?
   7. How will chores be split?
   8. Thoughts on prenuptial agreements?
7. Settle down discussion with life partner
   1. Idea of settling down in career, and focusing more on work-life-balance?
   2. How both partners will manage work?
   3. What happens in work at different places?
   4. Thoughts on long distance relationship?
   5. When to settle?
   6. Where to settle?
8. Religion, Beliefs and Ideologies
   1. Discuss Religion and religious beliefs
   2. Do one expects the same/similar beliefs from the partner?
   3. Is it ok to have different beliefs?
   4. Thoughts on Reading habit?
   5. Thoughts on Health/Fitness?
   6. Optimist or pessimist?
   7. Introvert/Extrovert/Ambivert?
   8. Idea of Learning, growth and self respect?
   9. Feminism and Gender
   10. Drinking, Smoking and drug consumption
9. Independence and space in the relationship
   1. Talk about what things/activities will require your time.
   2. Do one agrees to give the required space in the relationship?
   3. When can/should one take some decisions independently and when not?
   4. Will one be ok with existing Friend circle and relatives?
10. Discuss Triggers
    1. What pisses you off?
    2. Hobbies or What do one do in free time?
    3. What are you passionate about?
    4. Food preferences- Veg./ Non-Veg. / Eggs etc.
    5. Pets preferences – none / dogs/ cats/ elephants etc.
11. Secrets?
    1. Do one have a secret that might just ruin the rhythm in upcoming years?
    2. Past experiences that one would like to share with the other person before committing to a relationship.
12. Romance and love discussion with life partner
    1. Romantic Expectations
    2. Thoughts on Ideal romance
13. Discussion of Feelings- Anger/ Emotions etc.
    1. How often one gets angry/irritated?
    2. Thoughts on disagreements and fights and violence?
    3. How often one gets emotionally down?
    4. Any past experiences of anxiety/depression?
    5. How does one expects the other to support emotionally?

Points to always keep in mind

• Keep in mind that you are not ‘buying‘ a life partner of your ‘needs/desires‘. So don’t be judgmental. You are just looking for a compatible partner for yourself. If his/her views conflicts with yours, you have all the right to refuse; but Respectfully.
• Even if you like the person and he/she is perfect for you, you may not be perfect for her/him. So give their desires equal value and consideration. After all, both of you need to live happily, not just one of you.
• During the discussion, you have to be observant. And see which answers seem genuine and which seem made up (made-up because of the family pressure. Not everyone like lying at this point, but circumstances may ask one to).
• Learn some jokes before you go for the conversation. Humor helps break the ice.
• Prepare answers to the questions above which you want to ask.
• Learn to articulate well. Think for 5 seconds before you answer anything. Speak in an elegant language.
• Do not be overly negative/cynical about things.
• Clear your mind out – think slow and think what you want to say before you say it.
• Last but not the least- BE HONEST !